Broken

Today I sit here and my heart is broken. I am confused, scared, lonely and saddened. Just a short time ago, I thought I had a loving husband that cherished my daughter and I. He made me think I was the most special woman in the world. I was his everything. I had no doubt that very soon we would be adding onto our family. Our daughter was very excited at becoming a big sister. We had so many plans for our future.

Sure, we had our 'issues' we argued about but we both agreed we would work them out because they were minor. We didn't believe divorce should be an option. My husband had a bad history prior to our marriage but I truly believe he had changed. He was a different person. He was dedicated to our marriage, daughter and future.

But, just a week and a half ago, while I was at work, he showed up with a Uhaul and moved out. He said he just needed some time to get his head on straight. He had got addicted to some pills and he was going to check himself into a clinic. WOW. This isn't happening. Then it got worse. He decided not to help pay our finances. Then I find out he has reverted back to his former self. Seems like he is on the 'prowl' again. I know there is at least on woman he has 'been' with and another he was working on. Knowing his past, it isn't the end.

WOW....This can't be happening....this isn't my life. My husband loves me. Our daughter (his step daughter). What about all the promises....dreams......our friends and family. How do you just walk away from that? And for what? To just keep going from woman to woman? To lose the only person who has stood by your side through so many obstacles. Who has helped you when you had no one. Where is his conscious? Where is the love that seemed sooo strong and sincere? What about the little girl sitting in the office chair you left behing, crying because you told her you would never leave her and told her when you moved out everything would work out and be ok??????

Where do I go from here???? Will he ever want to come back? Will I be able to take him back? Will I lose all I have worked so hard for? So many questions........