Ok Santa! I am writing you my request for the thing I want most for Christmas! My husband to return home and our family to be healed. That isn't too much to ask for is it?

Tomorrow it will be two long, excruciatingly painful months since Al left. I have tried to be positive and be strong for Taylor BUT the last several days I haven't been very successful. Sometimes my heart aches so much it feels like I am dying inside. There is a void there that nothing seems to fill. As if that isn't bad enough, there is so much pressure from 'well meaning' people to just move on. Telling me I can never get past what he has done, I deserve more, etc etc. But do they know my God,really? I agree with them that "I" can't ever forgive Al of what has taken place and remove the pain that resides in what was once my heart. BUT my GOD can do anything. At this very moment I know he is talking with Al and helping Al to heal his own 'demons' and he keeps working with me on forgiveness and what love really is.

I am very fortunate that I have a very kind, understanding,beautiful lady that knows my God. And when I feel like I can't possibly cry another tear or I just can't see past the moment, I call her and she comforts me and reminds me I need to stand firm on God's word. She keeps me encouraged. I am eternally grateful for her.

So, Santa, rather you stuff him in my stocking or in a boc under the tree, please give me the one thing I want for Christmas, My Al to be home, permanantly.