Who Am I Now????????

My journey in life is forever taking turns yet as I sit here I wonder...when do I start taking advantage of that instead of allowing it to beat me down? For instance, there was a time not so long ago I was someone's wife, mother, daughter in law, sister in law..someone's Mrs. BUT then it suddenly changed. It was as if my identity had been stolen because all of those titles were no longer there except I was still a mother. I felt violated,robbed and beaten down. As if that was all I was. But as I sit here I think...isn't that crazy? I am still here! Why would I allow someone else to steal 'who' I am? Why not realize 'hey, his loss' and look at it as a new beginning not an end? A chance for renewal and recreation of who I want to be. A revival of who I truly am. I was not really all those things aboe. Those were just some of the roles I filled but I was still Terry. Now I have to try and remember who exactly that is since I lost my identity somewhere along the way.
I still want to be a mother ( a better one), a daughter, a sister, a lover and friend. (I have the greatest new boyfriend ever and a sweet new boy to go along with him), BUT I also want to be Terry. I am not just here to fill a role. I am here to live life and I have not been doing that. Where is that happy energetic person? Where is the laughter and fun? The sense of adventure? I must seek and find those things again. Share them with the people I love. Teach my daughter and sister you are not just here to be a wife or girlfriend. Pursue your dreams and goals Life is too short, it waits for no one. Don't lose who you are in someone else. Merge the two. I want my mom to be proud of me and be able to say 'hey now that is my Terry Lynn and I lover her' with pride in her voice.

This is a great opportunity for me. A new chapter of this book. Why not embrace it and make it a real page turner! Pursue something, find passion in something or allow something to ignite passion in me. Began putting the puzzle of 'Who is Terry' together. See what comes out when it is finished. Don't be that little old woman sitting in her rocking chair one day saying ' I wish I would of.....went,said,done,explored, etc with an unfilfilled feeling in the pit of your stomach wondering where did it go? What was my life about? What did I accomplish? Be the little lady walking (or wheeling) around the nursing home showing everyone your photos of the fun you had in your day and the places you saw or the World you created for yourself. The joy you found in life. And of the family that you have taught to do the same.

One thing I know. Life goes on rather you choose to participate in it or not. The sun will continue to rise and fall. The birds will chirp. The kids will grow. The days shall pass. So why not jump in and be a part of it?! Heal and find purpose in life again. Find joy. Don't take life for granted for one day it will be gone. Leave behind a great legacy. Be the crazy, exciting lady they will talk about at holidays for decades to come!