Two very long weeks.......Obviously this photo was taken in much happier times. Times that I thought there would be many more of. I feel like I am a crazy person. In light of things I have come to know over the last week I feel as if I should hate this man for so many reasons. So why don't I? Why does my heart still ache? Is it becuse I love him so much or am I just hurt over someone walking out of my life? If he were to call me up today and want to come home could I ever get past what he has done? Only by the very Grace of God.

I filed for a legal separation yesterday. I just couldn't bring myself to file for a divorce. But why not? Why wait? Even though he had said he didn't want a divorce when he moved out he hasn't said much over the last two weeks, he has actually been very cold and acting crazy. So why not just file and move on? There is a part of me that really believes when he started his medication in July it has had a terrible effect on him and he also told me he was addicted to some pills. (True?)? If so, then I feel like abandoning him in his dark hour would be wrong. Even though he has wronged me on MANY levels to wrongs don't make a right. Even if he doesn't want my help I shouldn't completely cut him off. There is only one person that I talk to that truly understands this. Understands how I am feeling. She listens. She prays for us.

Happy Friday :(